Don't Avoid Progress

We have all gone through different fazes in our lives that we look back on and regret. Sometimes, it's how we wronged someone else or the way we handled a situation that (if we could go back in time) we would now handle differently. But often, we regret what we didn't do. What we didn't do were things that could have possibly smoothed over the mistakes we made and also led us down much more enriching paths. How many times have you heard someone in their later years say they always wanted to learn to play the piano, go to Europe, skydive, or own their own business? What we didn't try at may have added so much to our lives if had given it a go. The different possibilities of 'what could have been' are endless. Even if we try and fail, we end up on the path we are supposed to be on.

Looking back (for me), it was when I was engaged in something I enjoyed that I was actually living. I don't mean doing something unproductive like watching TV or playing video games. It was when I was being productive in some way - whether it was art, business, exercising, spending time with family and friends, or just learning something new. When I was failing and succeeding, working and producing, having stimulating conversations with people - these are the things you will remember at the end of your life - not a marathon watching of Breaking Bad.

One of the reasons that we don't keep moving forward and trying new things is the fear of failure, but failure is productive in its own way. Of course, we try to avoid it, but when failure does happen it's always a learning experience. None of us seeks it out, but it happens to the best of us regardless. The only reason failure wouldn't be a learning experience is if we died from it.

"Habits start as cobwebs and end up as chains."
Old Spanish Proverb

Downtime is nice. A rainy day of watching TV or playing video games and doing nothing else can be a good reset but it's not a reset if it's your daily routine. Try going a few days without television and then turn it on and play catch up on your DVR for a few hours. You'll find that it much more enjoyable. This works with a lot of our leisure activities, not just TV. It also works with food. If you enjoy cheesecake, it's much more enjoyable if you eat it once a month than if you eat it twice a day. The experience is no longer an experience when it becomes a habit.

There is a yin and yang to this life. Even if you are a millionaire that has no responsibilities - you will, at some point, experience pain. Pain cannot exist without joy and joy cannot exist without pain. So, there really is no such thing as being joyful every moment of your life on this earth. Everyone we know, including ourselves, will die some day. There is no joy in that, but the fact that you have the years in-between to enjoy certain people is a blessing that you don't appreciate until that person is gone. You can't really know how great it feels to sit in front of a fan after a shower on a hot day unless you just got through mowing your yard in 100 degree weather. If you just wake up, take a shower, and then sit in front of a floor fan you will not get the same effect at all. You don't know good and comfortable unless you have the bad and uncomfortable to compare it to.

You don't know how good of a job you have unless you've worked worse jobs. You don't appreciate the rain until you are in the desert, parched and walking towards mirages. Monks had this philosophy. They took it to the extreme but there is something psychological about their methods that worked. We were made for work, even monotonous work. We weren't made to be entertained by a colorful box for 11 hours at a time watching other people live their lives. There are many in the movie, television, and music industry that don't even own a TV or go to the movies. The magic is gone when you see behind the curtain.

I'm not saying we should wake up in a state of panic. Don't make yourself miserable with telling yourself that you have to take advantage of everything that comes your way. Not every idea is a good one, but you will know the correct path when you see it and the biggest obstacle is just to start down that path. Rome wasn't built in a day. The worthwhile things will usually take time and effort. It's the steady forward movement of trying that gets you to the finish line. If you start out in a panic, running too fast - you'll burn out before you get to the end of that path. I've noticed from past experiences that when I do this I usually don't get the results expected quickly enough and I wind up giving up. How many different hobbies does a man go through in his life? I have a guitar that I haven't touched in years, a set of golf clubs that have barely been used, a lot novels with first chapters, and a bunch of art supplies that were seldom used.

Fear can be a key to motivation, but it isn't a lasting incentive to get things done. When your boss gives you a deadline and your job is on the line if you don't make the deadline - it's motivational, but not the kind of motivation that last. There is nothing wrong with wanting to keep your job but if you had a job that made you happy and that you didn't dread on Sunday nights then there would be a self-motivation involved, not a fear-motivation. You would want to get to work on Monday so that you can do what needs to be done. Your creative juices would be flowing, your attitude would be lighter and you would accomplish much more and do so with much better results.

This is not a photograph - This is a pencil drawing

Sometimes, I like to look at progress the way certain artist do. Their patience can be astounding, especially with artist that do meticulous work. Kelvin Okafor does photo-realistic pencil art. What makes him a master of his craft? He didn't just pick up a charcoal pencil and find that he had this unnatural ability....

"I work for four hours in one go, take a half-hour break, work another four to five hours, then have another half-hour break. After that I’ll work for as long as I can. Sometimes I might work ten to 15 hours in one day. It takes me on average 80 to 100 hours to do a portrait. When I draw I'm doing something I love. I lose myself in my art. Time doesn't matter to me." - Kelvin Okafor

Kelvin is just one example of an artist that will work on one section of a piece for hours. There are oil painters and sculptors that do the same. They become immersed in their work and they enjoy what we would see as monotonous. Just because we aren't artist (in the commercial sense of the word) doesn't mean that what we do doesn't have an art to it. If you work at a grocery store and you are stocking shelves, you can find an art even to this. The cans can be lined up evenly on a clean shelf with the labels facing outward. The rows and colors uniform. If you stocked this way and stepped back to look at your progress you would have a sense of pride in the creation. This is much better than the sense of monotony you used to have and the dread of having to do it again tomorrow. There is art to be seen in almost everything you do....

Competitive bodybuilders spend 4 or 5 hours in the gym everyday. They watch every morsel of food that goes into their bodies and slowly but surely there bodies display the results. It's a process that can take years, but they find (somewhere in themselves) the motivation to achieve this goal. They are no different than you or I on the inside. The only difference is they had a goal and they kept at it until it became a reality. Not all of us have this goal, but If we could spend half of this time on any hobby we would master it. They've even done studies on it. Malcolm Gladwell says that the key to success in any field is practicing that task for 10,000 hours. He calls it the "10,000-hour rule". So, if you want to master that guitar that's been collecting dust in the corner get ready to spend a good amount of time playing it. Don't do like I did and put it down after a month because I thought by then I should be playing like Tim Reynolds.

Many of us do the same thing with dieting. We try eating healthier and exercising, but if we don't see the results in a week's time we go back to our old bad habits. We have to keep in mind that time keeps moving and what we do with the now will soon be gone. So, if you take it day by day you will eventually wake up one morning and realize you are there. Today is just another day in the process. Why go backwards when we can move forwards? You tell yourself, "I can make it through this day without eating foods that are bad for me," and then you tell yourself the same thing tomorrow, and you keep this going because what is there to fear? Are we going to die if we don't eat a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream? When it clicks that you want something enough to make sacrifices for it, you will start to see results.

Now, do we all have this luxury of working 100 hours on some excel form our boss needs that should only take about 30 minutes? Of course not. But, there are those things that need to be done right and this takes patience and practice, fails and successes. The key is to stick with it. You will fail. You will have to scrap the whole thing sometimes and start from scratch - but when you start again, you start with more knowledge having learned from past mistakes. This is much easier to do when you see the art in your work. The more you care about it, the better you will become at it because you won't let setbacks end the endeavor.

We are all creators and the process of creating makes us happy. As far as those deadlines that your boss has and that job that you just can't find a smidgen of art to - the job you have come to hate. Well, you find the thing that does make you want to get up in the morning and you work on that in your free time. You work on that until it becomes apart of your identity. Then maybe one day, when someone ask you what you do for a living, you don't have to reluctantly tell them you are an accountant or whatever your job is that you find no pleasure in. You might be able to say that you used to be an accountant but now you are a writer, an artist, a barber, a business owner (whatever that dream of yours is) and that you are actually making a living off of this dream. What a great life this would be. To live on your own terms. Not to live for some else's dreams to be realized but for your own dream to be realized.  Don't get me wrong, the world needs accountants, but it needs accountants that love what they do.There are so many of us in positions (even positions of power) that leave us unfulfilled, but if we never try to change this how would we ever know that our lives could have been different when we look back on them?

In the movie Gladiator, Maximus tells his soldiers just before a fierce battle -

"Three weeks from now, I will be harvesting my crops. Imagine where you will be, and it will be so. Hold the line! Stay with me! If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead!"