It's Just You and Me

Let's just say it's been a rough couple of months (which I will take the time to write about at a later date). I head out of town tomorrow (flying to Minneapolis) to start training with my new job. Found out today I'll be sharing a hotel room with someone I've never met and needless to say I'm not too thrilled about this at all. If you've read any other post you'll know that this caused my social anxiety to flare up (like I wasn't already anxious about the whole thing already). Today has just been a lovely day of worrying about all of the possibilities. I think things like this happen to me because God is trying to draw me closer. I really do. It really does make me start talking to him. Of course, it always starts out in the way David talked to him in Psalms - "Why me? Why do you hate me?!"

I've already told God that if this is the way it's going to be then he is going to be hearing a lot from me. This journey - it's just you and me God. Like I've posted before. When it is all said and done, as much as someone or some group of people my care about and love you, there is only so much they can understand about your situation. While you are still up crying and praying they eventually fall asleep. Of course, the same is true the other way around also. So essentially, it always boils down to you and God. Anyway, I know that this isn't being read by anyone besides spammers, so spammers wish me luck. And to those of you who might be reading this 50 years from now for some reason (after the sweet release of death has taken me) - I hope that they have invented a magic pill that eliminates this social anxiety crap, completely without any side effects. I'm currently taking Buspirone. There aren't really any bad side effects but I sure do miss that feeling of relaxation that I would sometimes get from Xanax. I can't tell if this drug is working at all.

Putting Things Into Perspective

Not to be morbid here, but there is a way of thinking can actually help you separate the bull from the important while you're here for this short time on earth. It's meditating on the fact that you and everyone you know will die - most within the next 60 years.

"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking that you have something to lose. You are already naked. There's no reason not to follow your heart." - Steve Jobs


Deep down none of us wants death. We might even say we wish we were dead at times but if God said "Okay," and we felt a horrible sharp pain in our chest most of us would probably change our minds pretty quickly. Of course, we all want to die in our sleep without feeling any pain when that unavoidable time comes. None of us wants to be slowly crushed by a car or stabbed 50 times in the ass until we bleed out. But, even if we avoid dwelling on that moment of death (which is probably healthy) there is no denying that this life that you are now living as you read these words is going to end.

This usually brings up the cliches like - "Life is short. Don't waste it. Live to the fullest," bull but even those of us on this planet that are living in utter poverty, not knowing where our next meal is coming from and sometimes in abusive situations are still clinging to life. They aren't living life to the fullest but they still aren't ready to die. Is it because we don't have the courage to take our own life or is it because no matter how pessimistic we may seem, something inside of us is telling us that something can change, something good can happen, and we don't want to miss out on that no matter how far fetched of a miracle it may seem? After all, miracles do happen everyday so why couldn't one happen to us? Besides, it would be selfish to put others in a state of misery because we've decided to check out early wouldn't it?

Five to one, baby
One in five
No one here gets out alive, now
You get yours, baby
I'll get mine
Gonna make it, baby
If we try.

Jim Morrison 


Life is hard. There are very few people on this earth that don't deal with strife. No matter how much money they have, who they are married to, how well behaved their kids are etc., none of us escapes this life without pain, and of course none of us gets out alive. So, instead of saying enjoy every moment (because that's an impossibility) I will instead say that when we do face troubles we should contemplate both the fact that nothing is permanent, you aren't the first and you won't be the last to have these feelings, and finally that the simple fact that you could die tomorrow makes that issue you have going on at work or the anxiety your having over speaking in front of a group seem petty and/or a waste of your energy.

The ancient world, and the Renaissance, had a good method of dealing with anxiety, which I find still works – the memento mori, or reminder of Death. Ancient philosophers, particularly the Stoics, would train themselves to consider Death , to consider how everything around them would turn to dust, how they themselves would soon be eaten by the worms, and forgotten by everyone on earth. - Jules Evans

In the Christian tradition there is also the concept of death of the body not being such a bad thing. When reading Paul's writings you can clearly see that he accepts the fact that he is still on the earth for a reason but he's more than ready to go "home" when God sees fit because there is no END even if it seems so to us at the present. There is only being absent from the body.

We are confident, I say, and owilling rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord. - 2 Corinthians 5:8

Bono and C.S. Lewis

It seems that U2's Bono is familiar with the work of his fellow Irishman and author C.S. Lewis, particularly with Lewis's book Mere Christianity. They both have basically the same take on Jesus either being the Messiah, as he said he was, or being a complete lunatic that millions upon millions have been fooled by for two-thousand years. I think that they've both made an excellent argument for there being no in-between. I'd add the question - What are the odds that a man would go to these lengths and coincidentally have a following that was philosophically ripe and creative enough to keep the gospel spreading thousands of years after their deaths (most of them having been killed because of their allegiance to Jesus)? It seems highly improbable when you look at this historically that things would fall so perfectly into place for a lunatic. It shows me that there is something tangible and real about both Jesus and his follower's claims. 

Why would the original crew die for a lunatic or for someone that they had lied about or made up? If you'd made up some fantastical stories about your buddy that brought you some fame and fortune would you not say that you'd made it up if your life depended on it? To do otherwise must mean that you are convinced that you've told the truth, have seen what you've claimed to have seen, and are eager to see this friend after your death because you believe what he promised.

BONO: So what you’re left with is: either Christ was who He said He was - the Messiah -or a complete nutcase. I mean, we’re talking nutcase on the level of Charles Manson. This man was like some of the people we’ve been talking about earlier. This man was strapping himself to a bomb, and had “King of the Jews” on his head, and, as they were putting him up on the Cross, was going: OK, martyrdom, here we go. Bring on the pain! I can take it. I’m not joking here. The idea that the entire course of civilization for over half of the globe could have its fate changed and turned upside-down by a nutcase, for me, that’s farfetched.

CS LEWIS: I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.

More Subtle Than I Imagined - 1

The Bible is very accurate but sometimes I feel like I've let my imagination get away from me over the years. When it comes to the end times and a few other issues; I'm seeing things unfold in a more subtle, patient way. This way can still be profound, but it's not as theatrical as I thought it would be. Maybe that will come later? The older I get and the more I can compare the infinite time of a God and the universe to my own short time as an organism, the more I can see the subtle nature of prophecy in the Bible. Maybe we have been in the end times for 2000 years and if you combine it all into a 10 year span, then yes, it sounds like hell on earth but history is like a circle. Knowing the nature of man, what he will do in the future is pretty easy to predict because he's already done it once and he usually doesn't learn his lesson.

Honestly - in modern times, could you have a better Darth Vader-ish type Antichrist than Hitler? Well, Hitler is dead and he didn't completely take over the world and never got the chance to destroy Christianity, so the next guy or gal will REALLY have to be slick to pull off the world domination thing again. It may have to be so far into the future that Hitler is a side note of a charismatic cult leader that people think they are too smart to fall for. Yes, in our ignorance, even the bad times in history repeats itself over and over. Which brings up the question - how will we know this is the final straw? I heard a pastor say once that he hasn't returned yet because he is trying to save as many souls as possible? Well, that could go on forever. As I type this, there have already been about 110 million births this year with a net population growth of 64 million.

After some studying and a lot of contemplation, it seems (at least to me) that if Jesus says that he doesn't even know when he's going to return - no matter how blatant we think the signs are, we still can't be sure if they're the right signs at the right times. Considering that God is eternal how can we possibly expect him to work on our time line? Every generation for the last two thousand years thinks they will be the last one. It's kind of like saying if I'm not going to be here, then no one else should be either. We all think we've reached the limit on moral depravity, but history is littered with some very sick people - I'm talking entire populations of sickos and we're still here.

AC: "Since you are a mortal being and you have a life span, you just want to be like yeah, no, I go - Everyone Goes! Everyone!" 

JR: "Yeah, it's like the ultimate flip the board game over if you can't win." 

Anthony Cumia and Joe Rogan on The Joe Rogan Experience

Here's one example where I expected something unbelievable but instead got the more subtle and explainable version years later. I don't know where he got his information from, but I clearly remember my father telling me, when I was a kid, that Israel would be attacked and that "no missiles would be able to land there. It'll be almost like there is a dome around the country and the missiles just bounce off." At the time I thought he'd gotten it from Revelations, but now the only place I can see this even being hinted at in the bible is Ezekiel 39 -

"I will strike your bow from your left hand and dash down your arrows from your right hand.You will fall on the mountains of Israel, you and all your troops and the peoples who are with you; I will give you as food to every kind of predatory bird and beast of the field.…"

So, growing up I saw this as one of the signs of the end times and I still do. But what I had in my head of how this missiles would just be falling out of the sky and how everyone would be amazed came about in an entirely different way - The Iron Dome. Yes, it still supports some of the commentary on the end times and it's definitely a game changer, but if you want converts, you'd think it would be more like the battle my imagination had conjured up all those many years ago.

It's kind of funny really. It's like getting this huge crowd of people ready for this unbelievable fireworks show. They have been making websites, debating on message boards, getting together on late night talk radio about this crazy fireworks show that is supposed to happen REAL soon. A date is finally set by someone, so they all show up in this field (which someone else set up) the evening of the first guy's predicted date. Up to this point, people are willing something to happen but they aren't for sure if the pyrotechnics crew is going to show up. When it's completely dark and crowd is hushed with excitement - that's when a lone man slowly walks into the field with one of those small glass coke bottles, digs it into the mud a bit, and shoots off one bottle rocket. He turns to the crowd and says, "Come back in 6 months and you will see something different." Did they get to see fireworks? Yes. Did the fireworks show have Bruce Willis shooting flares just over the crowd while Radiohead chanted melodically in the background? No. Will the next fireworks show have what everyone was expecting? Maybe. That's the mystery of it all, just when you think it's all slow, subtle and scientific, the clouds could part and we could see things that would make our hearts stop.

More Subtle than I Imagined -http://t.co/UzFYuTsHjY #endtimes #Christian #prophecy

— parker todd (@sturdyminded) October 17, 2014