Would if Your Goal In Life is to Just be Happy?

I messed up by getting too specialized of an education. That's something you don't hear of too much these days with the big push for community college and how they are feeding the workforce at just as high of a rate as the four year schools, but I can't be the only one that has had this issue. My associates is in computer science/networking specialist. Yes, networking specialist sounded great at the time and there is a high demand for the position, but without experience and even if you want to start at the ground floor - good luck getting a job in this field unless you know someone or have way more skills than a two year degree can give you. These schools, while well meaning, from my experience do not prepare you to complete all of the many certifications that employers need just to give you an interview. Some colleges are just taking money and churning out graduates. If you're a good test taker then your golden. Doesn't matter if the multiple choice question doesn't make sense to you in the real world as long as you can hold it in you brain until you're done taking the test.

Maybe I'm lazy, but I feel like if I had a 4.0 while getting that degree I shouldn't have to spend hundreds on extra seminars and off campus classes to take practice tests in order to get all of the many Cisco and Microsoft certifications. Maybe my real problem is, that as interested as I was in computers when I was younger, my taste had changed and I didn't have this fire in my belly to keep working towards these goals when I was already barely making it holding down a full time job in management while going back to school. Let's just say that WHEN I WAS DONE I WAS DONE.  I guess that's why it's best to get your education as early as possible (before anyone else depends on you). Also, I was getting into theology and philosophy at the time of working towards this associate in networking and it made the classes I was taking drier than I could have imagined.

I'm glad that I went back to school, even if perhaps it was a waste. It looks a little better on my resume than the 2 previous years I'd had toward my English Literature degree before dropping out. It shows that I started and finished something.  I still wish that I would have had the wherewithal back then to finish in Literature and to maybe teach somewhere. But of course, for those that know any of my history, generalized and social anxiety created a mental torment in me at that age that did not allow me to finish school. I'm surprised that I made it in the work force. God really was with me back then, even though I didn't realize it and was usually pretty upset with him.

So without going into detail about what kind of management that I'm in now, let's just say that it's middle management. In middle management, there are days when you are simply the complaint department and there's nothing fancy about it, no matter what your title is. Yes, they are those rare days when you play boss, but it's usually passing down some punishment that you may or may not agree with. This is a far cry from my more geekier goals of working with computers and not so much dealing with politics every day, day in and day out. There is a different kind of stress between finding where a cable may have split than dealing with complaints about why you don't provide good enough insurance. As if you are the owner of this giant company and can make these kind of calls in the first place.

As you can tell, I'm not exactly thrilled about the big life decisions I've made, particularly school and work. What was I thinking? But then comes the search for meaning and purpose. What is my reason for being here? What is the meaning of all this? Am I simply to go to work just to have something to do during the day all the while keeping the wheel turning on someone else's dream? It doesn't help that when you get stuck in certain dead end jobs you are surrounded by people that also feel stuck and it's like they are treading water to pay their bills, get through life, and hopefully retire with something left in their bank accounts. Essentially, you are either surrounded with people that complain a lot or have delusions of grandeur because they listen to Zig Ziglar. Really, it's Monday and you are that thrilled to be dealing with Bubba's HR issues? There isn't anything you'd rather be doing, like watching the Price Is Right? Of course you wouldn't want to do that, you are a productive member of society who feels that if he isn't going through these mini bouts of emotional turmoil that he's not truly living. Watching an Arrested Development marathon while living off of your lottery winnings sounds like a horrible idea to you. You're one of those people that say, "If I won the lottery I'd still work." Whatever, I might spend my money on some type of "work" that I would enjoy so much it would be like play, but working for someone else? Hell no.

I saw a Ted Talk on this guy who just dropped off the grid and went to Tibet to become a Monk. You see a lot of these type of talks, but if you do some research, the majority of these people are independently wealthy. There are days when I'd love to become some type of guru recluse that only comes down the mountain to fetch his food. I'd love to have been born rich and have people cook me healthy meals all day, workout when I felt like it, travel the world, pretty much just do whatever the hell I wanted to. Screw this need to be important and be a Trump Jr. where I have to be in the family business. Just give me my share and let me be. The amount of money some people make in a year could support us very comfortably for a lifetime. That's all I need. A house, cable, food, car, nothing that fancy. More than anything material I just want to be free from other people's demands. If I do something for my wife and kids, or anyone else I care about, that's because that's what I want to do; but as far as getting up early in the morning so that I can kiss some fat cat's ass and do his bidding - it'd be great to be able to be free from that. Happiness isn't possible without freedom, even if that freedom is only in your mind.  

"This was freedom. Losing all hope was freedom." - Chuck Palahniuk

So back to the big question. What is my goal? Well, I'd love to make money off of my writing but writers are a dime a dozen and the odds on that are pretty slim, so if I had to have a plan B I would want to be a barber. A barber with a cool little old school barbershop where I can just sit  around and bullshits with customers between haircuts until finally, one day, I'm too old to hold the scissors in my arthritic hands and I lock my doors for the last time. No more late nights, no more 'boss' telling me when some report is due. Yes, I know customers can be a pain, but let's face it - cutting men's hair is a much safer environment than cutting women's. I know I'd never become rich being a barber. Just making a good wage is fine. Money is nice, but the only reason I need it is for the independence it can bring. You never see what someone did for a living on their tombstone. 

Plan C - just stick to what I'm doing until they get rid of me or I lose my mind or both. From what they say, some of the happiest people in the world are the crazy ones so maybe that's what this is all headed towards. Either that, or there is always living off the government like a growing number of people in this country seem to be doing.

True Detective's 10 Keys to Being Weird and Cool at the Same Time

I don't know much about the writer and creator of 'True Detective' Nic Pizzolatto but his writing has some hidden gems that show us a unique version of what a truly free thinker is made of. Rust Cohle claims to be a pessimist at the start of the series but there is a virtuous (almost stoic) streak that we see develop as time goes on. These aren't rules to live by, but it's a character that has captured the hearts and minds of many. Even though we can clearly see his flaws we still root for him. He's a man who's been to hell and back but has learned to cope in a way that makes 'Cool Hand Luke' look like Barney.

1. Stay calm and don't escalate the petty stuff. Sometimes the best reaction is no reaction. The agitated will feel dumb about it later.

2. Sleeping with someone just because you can is thoughtless and weak. When you go against the natural inclination of man to have sex without reservation, it causes a respect and mysteriousness that you wouldn't attain otherwise.

3. When it comes to protecting the weak, you don't always have to play by the "rules". 

4. Don't show your hand until you're done playing the game. 

5. Let bygones be bygones.

6. Surprise a bully.

7. Don't be afraid of having deep conversations. These are the only conversations people remember.

8. Know who you are. Accept your oddness.

9. Know when it's time to move on.

10. Accept the fact that you don't have it all figured out.

More Pride than Superman

"To be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge."

Benjamin Disraeli

I think that a little bit of the ranting from the last post has to do with what I'm seeing in our culture more and more lately, but also something that is pointless to be upset about. There are some little nuggets of humor and truth there that keeps me from deleting the post, but when I step back and read it impartially there are some obvious errors in this type of 'woe is me' thinking. There is some pride there - to think that if I were in another situation that I would not act like those I condemn is presumptuous.

The reason that it is pointless to become angry about the actions of others is because there is a reason for everything. Everyone, no matter how untouchable they seem, will be knocked off of their pedestal some day. When you are in the moment of being bullied or taken advantage of, it seems pointless and degrading but there is a reason for it, no matter how incomprehensible it seems. Sometimes I can have a sourness and be upset about the journey, but it really isn't healthy. We feel like we deserve better and don't have the patience to grow into who we are meant to be. It's a quick fix, almost decadent way of thinking, that our brains have adapted to in this new culture. We expect what may come easily for others to come easily for us also.

The problem is, there will always be someone more successful, better looking, luckier, and wealthier. Does this mean that they are living a better life? Not necessarily. Sometimes, people who have lives where everything comes easy to them aren't happy people at all. These are the people that will one day face some tragedy in their lives, as we all do, but not have the collected skills to cope. When I see someone who is rich and think about how great their lives must be, I try to keep in mind this quote by Roger Corless - "Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body."

Maybe, instead of complaining about the mental and physical shortcomings we may have at the moment, we should see them as opportunities. Opportunities to not only grow and prove the naysayers wrong, but also opportunities to learn valuable lessons that can help others. It is my pride that keeps me from growing. When you're full of pride, you don't learn as fast because you think you already know it all, and even if you know that you don't know it all, you certainly don't want someone else to tell you that. Instead of taking what a person is telling us as something that we can find some value in, we take it as a slight against our intelligence or work ethic even if this wasn't their intention.

I know that Man of Steel isn't the most popular of the films in the Superman franchise, but after watching it a few times, I've really gotten into the philosophy, theology and psychology of the film. It's not incredibly deep, but there is a story there that never gets old. It's the hero's journey, the powerless becoming the powerful. Not through their pride and a 'I'm going to show them'  - vengeful attitude, but through a humility that is kept in check and a selflessness that exceeds the norm.

There were some obvious references to Jesus in this film and people still find this intriguing and admirable two-thousand years later. Clark Kent is a fish out of water on this planet, raised by parents who are trying to cope with his uniqueness and trying their best to raise a boy who will someday be the most important man on the earth. Both of their births are unnatural to the planets they are born on. Clark is bullied throughout his childhood, but restrains from violence. He saves people, never to show off his power, but only because he thinks it's the right thing to do. When others notice these flashes of extraordinary abilities in his childhood, they don't know what to think of him. Jesus preaches at a young age and draws a crowd because of his supernatural knowledge.

Clark works blue collar jobs. Jesus was a carpenter. Clark finds a vessel in the snow where he can talk to his real father from Krypton, Jor-El. Jesus would go away to pray to his real Father in Heaven. Clark's father tells him the path that he his to take, which is to save mankind from General Zod who wants to set up a new kingdom on Earth. Jesus is to save mankind from Satan who would like to reign over Earth. While Clark is talking with a priest in a church, you see in the background, on a stained glass window, Jesus kneeling in the Garden of Gethsemane with what looks like a red cap across his back. In the garden, Jesus is struggling with the mission that he knows will separate him for the first time in his life from his father. He knows that he will soon be arrested. Clark is struggling with taking the leap of faith of helping mankind himself. Debating whether or not to turn himself in and let them hand him over to Zod.

Clark lets the soldiers handcuff him. It's symbolic because he could easily break free from them at anytime. Jesus lets them arrest, beat, and crucify him although he could save himself at anytime. Clark's father dies before seeing his son become the man he was meant to be and his mother is the only parent there to see his struggles and redemption. It is believed that Joseph died young also, because Mary is the only parent at the cross and at the empty tomb.

At the time of his arrest Clark says that he is 33 years old. Jesus was arrested and crucified at 33 years old. On Zod's ship Superman is reduced to a normal man, with normal powers. On the cross, Jesus is taking on the sin of the world and feels that his Father has forsaken him. When Superman breaks free from Zod and his father Jor-El tells him that he can save mankind; he leaves the ship in the same position that Jesus is in when he's on the cross saving mankind.

Superman saves soldiers that were trying to kill him earlier, because he knows that they were doing so out of fear, by orders, and out of ignorance. Jesus, while on the cross, ask forgiveness for his persecutors saying "they know not what they do." Jesus reattaches the ear of a soldier that arrested him when Peter was trying to keep them away with a sword.

Superman defeats Zod before he can make the Earth what he wants it to be, and Jesus rises from the dead putting an end to Satan's grip on the Earth. All of the fictional suffering of Superman and the real suffering of Jesus wasn't in vain.  If we think we are better than others, or that we have it all figured out then we are more prideful than Superman, and we're not following the teachings of Jesus. If we are prideful we will not win in the end.

But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. - Luke 22:26

The most humble will be the greatest. The most prideful will be the least. Being humble isn't an excuse to fear man. Being humble does the opposite actually. If you are not full of yourself, then there is no pride for someone to prick or destroy. The humble are seen in high regard by people because of their restraint and strength. Their ability to do what is right no matter what the circumstance is admired. As humans, this comes and goes, but the longer you can remain humble the better. That is why the comments and thoughts of others about us shouldn't emotionally effect us like they do; whether they are good or bad. The good, uplifting comments shouldn't make us proud and boastful because soon their will be someone to take us down a notch. The negative comments and thoughts of others shouldn't emotionally cripple us because they don't make us who we are. They are only passing thoughts in another person's head.

You are not your mistakes. You are not your sins. The opinions of others shouldn't be able to dictate our emotional well being and the actions we take. If Jesus or Superman lost faith in humanity because of the cruelty that it showed towards them, they wouldn't have selflessly saved it - they would have vengeance on it. Doing what is right and doing what we feel are two different things.

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom. One's pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor. Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him. - Book of Proverbs

"It takes pride to be anxious - I am not wise enough to know how my life should go."- Tim Keller

Don't Write for the Sake of Writing

“Empty is the argument of the philosopher which does not relieve any human suffering.” 

Epicurus

If you aren't interested in a subject why write about it? If it's about human suffering and you don't offer any relief whatsoever, I no longer see the point. Why give someone a long article (or book) to read about their problems, unless your goal is to let them know that there is someone else in the same boat as them? Other than that, a writer should give the reader insight, even if it's just a few things he or she has learned along the way. If Anne Frank can do it with the circumstances surrounding her, we all can.

If you want to blog about a miserable break up, by all means, go for it - but don't expect a lot of people to read it unless it adds something to their lives. People are selfish that way. The only service you'd be offering is emotional voyeurism to those that get off on that kind of thing. These aren't the kind of readers you want. They will tune out as soon as things get better for you. Why would they continue to read your blog when Facebook is full of people bragging? But...at least you're not writing for the sake of writing.

If you are writing a paper for a class, that's one thing, but why subject yourself to the process of writing in your free time unless it's something that you find meaningful. Who wants to spend their free time feeling like they're working on an assignment they dread? That's pointless and you will soon give up.  I know that Epicurus is a philosopher and that his point pertains to philosophy, but each of us has a philosophy about something. It's all around us.

Even fiction can have moments of inspiration; the hero's journey or some other insight into human nature that can be worth writing or reading about. Film, in some regard, can have the same effect because it had to be written before it was put on the screen. There are movies like Winter's Bone and Frozen River that are well made and the acting is great - but so very depressing. I just can't watch them anymore. Life can be hard enough. Why invite more pain and darkness in?

As far as writing - if I don't have something I really want to talk about or something (that I really don't want to talk about) from my past that might help one person that can relate - then it isn't worth the time and effort. Other than having something to say, it's just trying too hard and becomes pretentious at some point.  Don't write to write just so you can tell your buddies you're a writer. Write because it's something that you've got to get out there, it's something that can help others, something humorous, or entertaining - even sad.  Even in our darkest moments there is the human will to pull out of the mire. Don't leave that part out.

Keep in mind, there is no perfect writer - there are good reads and bad reads. Your main goal is for someone to enjoy reading your stuff. My major was English literature and I don't even follow all of the rules. I do my best to make things readable and entertaining, but I've stopped getting wrapped up in punctuation and the like. It makes the process a mere process and not a statement from a human perspective. Some of the greatest writers have long run on sentences like Kerouac and even Stephen King has an editor. I would rather read something good and from the heart of someone who has a 5th grade education than something boring and dry from someone with a doctorate.

So you want to be a writer? That's mistake #1 - another good article on this subject by Ryan Holiday