I'm in middle management so I see both sides of the coin. I do my best, but I know employees will complain even if I act like Mother Teresa - so what non-management employees say doesn't bother me too much. If I didn't treat them right then they do have a lot of say in my position, but I'll never be the kind of company man that causes a mutiny - just some grumbling every now and again. It's when someone in upper management or who's in a position to effect my job and what they think about the work I do that gets to me more. I sometimes take things out of context or make something said into a slight against me when it's usually just their way of bragging on themselves or joking. A simple, "We never used to do it that way" - (in my head) can turn into "you're doing something wrong," or "you're incompetent."
A lot of it has to do with the tendency for people to use text and email more often than speaking face to face or over the phone. When I read something that be taken either way, I usually see it in a negative light. An email that says - "It's not your responsibility" can be said in a completely reasonable tone over the phone when I can actually hear the person's voice and it would be fine, but when it's typed out I have to guess whether they're upset or just stating a fact etc.
I'm debating whether it's a lack of 'being secure in myself' or that I have so much pride that I don't like it being messed with. I'm leaning more towards pride being the culprit due to the pride disabling my ability to be secure in myself. Without the pride, then I'd accept the fact that people aren't always going to tip toe around me, just like I don't tip toe around everyone in my life. Without the pride, I'd ask more questions and be more humble - not try to act like I know it all when I clearly don't. I'd be more authentic and this authenticity would not take everything as a slight because I'm just another guy in the workforce dealing with stuff that millions of others are dealing with right at this moment.
There is nothing special about my situation or the person's situation that I'm feeling offended by, so why take it so seriously? Without the pride I wouldn't try to portray myself as perfect (with these OCD qualities) and would be able to take some constructive criticism. Without the pride, I'd know when it's best to speak up or let something minor slide (and most of it's minor). Without the pride, I'd know my limits and wouldn't be afraid if someone else knew them. Like I've said before, if people know they can get to you with their comments because they see that you're sensitive to them - (not saying they will but) they can use it against you to get their way. They will tell you something to pump up that pride when they need something, and they can use a slight to prick that pride when they don't want you to do something or to get you to do it their way. If you're humble, then there is no pride to boost up and their is no pride to tear down. They no longer have that control. You can learn from your mistakes easier, and if they have a better way - the have a better way. If they are using you, you can say no without it being a big deal because you aren't concerned about having their approval. Humbleness leads to growth in any endeavor. The trick is to stay humble no matter how high in the ranks you rise. The least will be the greatest, the meek shall inherit the earth, and "because everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted."
"People sometimes say their feelings are hurt. But our feelings can’t be hurt! It is the ego that hurts - my sense of self, my identity. Our feelings are fine! It is my ego that hurts." - Tim Keller
No comments:
Post a Comment