Mentally, this can be done with reading and learning new ways of living. There are so many great quotes and historical examples out there; but when we are in a rough situation how many of us think of that quote or bible verse which directly correlates with the present situation? I would guess not many of us. Most of us probably go back to our old programming and then remember or read that passage again later and remember - "Oh yeah - that's how I was supposed to handle that," or "Oh yeah, I shouldn't have let that person get to me like that."
I keep a small notebook with me that contains my favorite quotes and passages. This has helped me and after a while I start to remember these passages and my mind will bring them to the forefront when I need them most. It's just a matter of the brain going through it's catalog of reactions and ways of being until it finds the correct one - the one that is usually best, unless I'm currently reading Helter Skelter and nothing else.
I'm not saying there is anything wrong with recreational reading. We just need to always have some intellectual and philosophical reading in between that pertains to how we are to live our lives. That part of our brains needs refreshing more often than our pop culture knowledge. Just because a book is a couple of thousand years old doesn't mean we can dismiss it for a Dean Koontz novel. Never underestimate those that have lived non-fictional lives and the intellect they attained from it - no matter when they lived. This is why those books are still being studied in universities around the world while Christine is not.
I won't go into details, but today he was 'disappointed' in me, pretty much said I was an idiot and that I wasn't the guy he hired - among a long list of crap and condescending dialogue that I had to bite my tongue through. I'm not saying I'm perfect but I'm also in management and would never talk to any of the 50 or so people I manage the way he feels free to speak to me. I've learned how to get what I need out of people without making them feel worthless. There is already a sense of nervousness when the boss is around so you usually don't have to add your degrading insults to get results.
Littered throughout this blog and my Tumblr page are quotes that I find worthy for study and memorization. I'm fairly new to Stoic Philosophy (just having been inspired by "The Obstacle is the Way") but I have been reading the Bible for quite some time. Today, I realized that my study, writing, and steady reading of Theology and Philosophy actually has begun to change me mentally and has begun manifesting itself on my physical environment (the world out there).
Where usually this kind of talk from this particular boss would have ruined my weekend, I was strengthened by quotes and vague remembrances of passages which kept me stable and still do. I didn't not freak out (this time) or rush to make amends. I stood strong in our conversation, took mental notes on the tidbit of productive information I could get from the conversation to help me with my current job and unemotionally made the rational decisions of how to proceed from there.
Here are a few of the things I been reading lately that came to mind and strengthened my mental armor as well as told me how to react in the heat of the moment....
“You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
“I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others.”
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”
“When another blames you or hates you, or people voice similar criticisms, go to their souls, penetrate inside and see what sort of people they are. You will realize that there is no need to be racked with anxiety that they should hold any particular opinion about you.”
That last one helps because this guy (my boss) doesn't have a lot of fans and is obviously stressed and down on himself. His weight is out of control and from talking to some that are honest - they say they avoid talking to him at all cost. In other words, why do we care what a person thinks of us when they don't even like themselves? It's ludicrous. Maybe he should read more philosophy and theology?
"Does a man ridicule me? That's his business. It's my job to make sure that nothing I say or do deserves to be ridiculed. Will he hate me? His business again. Mine is to remain gentle and well disposed toward everyone, ready to show even this fellow the mistake in his thinking, not in a scolding tone or with a show of forbearance, but graciously and genuinely..." (link)
From the Bible
"Treat others the same way you want them to treat you. 32"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.…Luke 6:31
"It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you." (Proverbs 29:25 LB) - article
--On another note, I have started eating right and exercising again. This is one of the environmental changes I was alluding to when I mentioned earlier that the mental can change the physical realm. I've removed the gluttony that came from bad thinking and stress and have decided to take the steps toward better health. It is true that your thought life effects all aspects of your life.
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